praying: Lord above

Here's something I find interesting. It's a theme that crops up a lot in various movies, books, and even songs. There are plenty of people out there who claim to not believe in God, whether they call themselves atheists or not, and more often than not - at one point for another - they may suddenly find themselves in a situation that seems so utterly hopeless to them that they send a prayer up to God.

In movies and books it's when the character has hit ultimate rock bottom. Absolutely everything has gone wrong that could go wrong, and since it's a story it will probably start down-pouring on them as well. Then they'll drop to their knees and shout some profanities at the sky and scream that they've given up, and then something funny happens. They stop shouting for a moment, look back up at that sky, and wind up saying something along the lines of, "I know I don't believe in You, but if you're out there..." These same people who earlier in the story so whole-heartedly, hot-headedly believed that He was nothing to believe in still find themselves calling out to Him in the time of their greatest need.

It's such a popular theme in stories because it happens so often in real life, too. It doesn't matter how many times a person says that they don't believe in God, and how hard they work to convince themselves that He does not exist, there is still bound to come a time when they find themselves on their knees before Him begging for help, crying out to Him, "...if You're out there..."

And it's that "if" that is so often the first step to their salvation.

"Well no matter who you are, and no matter what you've done,

there will come a time when you can't make it on your own. 

And in your hour of desperation, 

know you're not the only one

prayin', 'Lord above, I need a miracle!' "

Prayer Request:

That in your time of need, you find help and hope in Him, and know that he is always by your side. 

That whatever it is you need help with in this moment of your life, He will send whatever you need, as He wills it. 

And also, that if your GPS sends you down a crazy set of hellish back streets, and a large pick up truck is going much too fast around a corner, that He sends an angel down to keep you safe from harm.

in Jesus' name!

truly You are always there

So there's this radio station in my area that happens to be the only christian music radio station near enough for me to pick up on my ride to and from work. I can only get it when I'm close to work, and even then sometimes it fades into static (or, if it's particularly coudy...classical music?) but I love it when I do get it, and I'm hearing so many new songs about God. They're all pretty good, and some are awesome to sing along to; then every so often I'll hear one song in particular that really strikes at the heart, or brings up a tear-jerking-but-wonderful memory from my journey to God. I had one of these such moments on the drive home today when I heard these lyrics,

"I remember the moment, I remember the pain.

I was only a girl, but I grew up that day.

Tears were falling,

I know You saw me

Hiding there in my bedroom, so alone,

I was doing my best, trying to be strong.

No one to turn to,

That's when I met You."

My goodness! I thought, this here, this song is just what happened to me too! (Except for the bedroom part.) I had been having a fairly annoying day; I say annoying because nothing happened to make it a bad day, but there were various silly things which were minor annoyances building into a general annoyance that seemed to perpetuate the day - for me, and for those around me as well. It was just enough to have crumpled my mood by the time I was driving home, and this song perked me right up. And then there came the chorus,

"All this time, from the first tear cried

'Till today's sunrise

And every single moment between

You were there, You were always there

It was You and I

You've been walking with me all this time"

As if He was TRYING to tear and to tug at my heartstrings even more than they had been already. The chorus was so simple and so pungent with love for God that I found tears springing to my eyes almost instantly. It wasn't much, but it was just enough of a reminder for me, almost as if He was sitting in the car beside me saying, "Hey, I know today was a little miserable, and I know your tire blew up on you just the other day too, but don't worry. I'm here, so it's okay. Remember that I Am always here." 

And I did remember.

And it was okay.

(The song is All This Time, by Britt Nicole, in case you're curious.)

I'm sorry to say that I don't have much more of a point to this post; but at least I'm writing something again! Getting into the habit is a good thing, and I know that as long as I keep writing something about Him and how I see Him in my life every day, something good is bound to happen on this blog. 

Prayer Request:

That every time someone feels themselves stuck in one of those moments of sadness, or annoyance, or self-doubt, or general miserableness, they remember that He is there, and so everything is really okay. 

That YOU remember, because as long as you do, and as long as you know Him in the deepest place of your heart, everything is bound to turn out just fine. 

Just you wait and see!

hello, my name is!

Over my last few months working at Macy's I carried with me a tiny little notebook in which I had begun pre-writing blog posts out, so that I could come home from an unfulfilling day of big-company-retailing, type it up on my computer, and hit post. I wrote many things within this little notebook. Most of them ended up being sad, slightly depressed ramblings about how unfullfilling my days were. They became slightly more depressing with each new entry, and needless to say I never posted any of them. Once I'd written them, I didn't feel the need to. After all, who would want to read something that miserable anyway?

I'm feeling much better now!

I'm feeling very blessed, and very much at peace with my current work situation - that is, working as the Assistant Manager at a little indie book store with a small crew of peeps that all care for one another and treat each other like human beings, instead of a number clocked into a computer system. I still have a hard time picturing myself holding any job title with the word "manager" in it; I just never imagined myself in such a role. I've settled into the new job, and with each day that goes by I feel just a wee bit closer to actually feeling like an assistant manger -- you know...in my eyes. It was a big step for me, but I truly feel like it's where God wants me to be - why else would things have worked out this way?

Every so often I still get nervous. It's just the way my brain works. I can be confidant, and strong, and able. I can also be incredibly meek and shy, and it's this aspect that sneaks up sometimes while I'm driving home on the highway (Me! Driving! On a highway!). I'll think about where I am, job-wise, and suddenly my heart will begin to flutter up from my stomach and into my throat. A bit of adrenaline pumps into my veins and the world comes into focus just a bit more sharply. It feels like standing on the edge of a cliff with the wind blowing up, fiercely into my face and it's all that keeps me from slipping over the edge. Then I remember that I have these wings, and if I could open them then the ground wouldn't seem so far away. So I open them, just a little, and the wind keeps buffeting me and holding me up, and each and every day I can open them just a little bit more. My heart is already fluttering; it's ready to soar even if I'm not. And flying is, after all, just learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

This ramble turned out a bit longer than I intended! I just wanted to post something on here, just to get myself that much closer to doing it (maybe, almost) every day again.

Like I said up there, I feel blessed right now. I feel like I am truly on the path that He has set forth for me. It took awhile to get to where I am, it look a lot of patience, and a lot of trust in God that something good was at the end of all that time put in at Macy's, but here I am. It's hard work! But it's good, and right, and it feels just a bit like home.

AND I have a song stuck in my head from a radio station that I juuuust barely get on my radio towards the end of my commute.

"I am no longer defined
by all the wreckage behind.
The One who makes all things new
has proven it's true.
Just take a look at my life!

HELLO MY NAME IS
Child of the One True King.
I've been saved, I've been changed
and I have been set free!
'Amazing Grace,' is the song I sing.

Hello! My name is
CHILD of the One True King!"



Prayer Request: Nothing specific; that you, and all those cared for by you, find the path that God intends for you. And then, when the path is found, that you may have the COURAGE to follow it!
It's a bit of a fright -- but it's OK.

HE's there to walk it with you.